Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Sample Best Times Essay



One Text Draft: Best Times Bobber Project – Mr. Mauel

Intro: (Three questions, Pivot Sentence, Thesis Statement)
Ever had a frightening experience? Life threatening? One event that forever casts a tall thin shadow on the way you look at innocent things? Like a river? Sometimes life’s lessons come to you in strange forms and places.
Body paragraph 1 (TS, CD, CM, CM2, CD2, CM, CM2)We walked a half mile from my parents’ house to the river. We were four 8th grade boys. Spindly legged and goofy. I was the reception of their impulse to go swimming beneath the orange summer moon. They had snuck me out of my parent's house quietly. I wondered what the river would like. Would it be as black as the night sky over our heads? We stood on the shore – five thirteen year olds at midnight. We got down to nothing but swim trunks. We looked out. Anxiety knotted my stomach. This stretch of the Spokane River’s surface was covered completely with large bundled logs. Under starlight, I saw that the logs were skinned. They completely covered the water like large white bones.

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Four boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs over our heads. It illuminated and then sliced into sections the dark water. Fish looked strangely metallic. Sand at the bottom sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. I remember thinking the river water was warm, like oil. I swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled beneath the logs. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now. It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more. I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side. I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. My friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones. The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Conclusion: (Thesis Restated, Topic Sentences Summarized, Memorable Statement)
That night taught me that life lessons – more often than not – can occur in the strangest places. For me, that place was twenty feet below a warm Spokane River at midnight… looking left and right… wondering what to do. Alone… For as many sensory images that filled that memory, there was one that resonated inside my heart. I did not want to lose people I cared about and, to this day, am glad I didn’t.

143 comments:

Aaron said...

Aaron from per. 1

Body Paragraph 2
(TS) It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CM)We dove into the blackness. (CD)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CM) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight.(CM)I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Rachel said...

Rachel; :)
Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.(cd) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cm) that I had made it to the other side.(cd) I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes.(cd) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs.(cm) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up.(cd) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(cm)

Mason O said...

Mason O
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken (CD). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(CM). We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CD). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air(CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

~ALLI~ said...

Alli:

Body Paragraph 4
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (CD). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (CM). that I had made it to the other side(CD). I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs (CD). I opened my eyes (CD). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. The sounds of them falling down and getting back up (CD). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other (CM).

Tanya said...

Tanya:

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs(CD). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(CD). I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs(CD). I opened my eyes(CD). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs(CM). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up(CM). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other(CM).

Sierra said...

It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. (CD) The view under the logs took my breath away(CM) – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CD) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)
-Sierra Allen.

:)makiah c said...

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs(cd). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles(cm) that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes(cd). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs(cm). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up(cd). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other(cm).

makiah

Ian said...

Ian Per. 1
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken(TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(CM). We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom(CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Chocolate Chip Wonder Bread said...

Grace from Period 4

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.(CD) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles(CM) that I had made it to the other side.(CD) I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs.(CD) I opened my eyes.(CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs.(CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up.(CD) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(CM)

Victoria said...

Victoria

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (cd). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(Cd). I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs(CD). I opened my eyes.(CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs.(CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(CM)

Travis G said...

Travis GUMKE Body Paragraph 2
(TS)It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CM)We dove into the blackness. (CD)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CM) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CD)I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Victoria said...

Victoria

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (cd). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(Cd). I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs(CD). I opened my eyes.(CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs.(CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(CM)

Gabe said...

I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now (CD). It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. I never missed them more than I did now (CD). Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time (CM). I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light (CD). I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die? (CM)’ The water darkened even more. I was passing out. I closed my eyes (CD). I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side (CD). I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this (CM).’ my arms hanging like broken branches by my side (CM). I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it (CD).

Trey C. said...

hey its Trey C.

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Dallas said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken (TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... (CM) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (CM). We dove into the blackness (CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable (CD). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CM). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… (CM) help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CM). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CD).

Dallas said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken (CD). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... (CM) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (CM). We dove into the blackness (CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable (CD). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CM). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… (CM) help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CM). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CD).

Trey C. said...

hey its Trey C.

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Dallas said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken (CD). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... (CM) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (CM). We dove into the blackness (CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable (CD). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CM). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… (CM) help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CM). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CD).

Trey C. said...

Hey its trey c

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Kymber said...

Kymber, period1

I looked to my left and right(CD). Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now(CM). It was not for pain that I was scared now(CM). It was because I was alone in the black(CD). I never missed them more than I did now(CD). Had I swum too far?(CM) Did I have enough air to swim back?(CM) I had to make a decision in the darkness(CM). Swim on or turn back(CM). I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time(CM). I swam forward(CD). Along the river’s bottom as far as I could(CD). My muscles tightened up(CM). I suddenly felt light(CD). I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’(CD) The water darkened even more. I was passing out. I closed my eyes(CD). For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could(CD). My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them(CD). Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse(CM). They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side(CM). I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’(CM) I forced my body to float up(CD). My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side(CD). I lost sense of space and time(CD). Blacking out… Thunk(CD). The back of my head hit a log(CD). I thought, that’s it(CM).

Trey C. said...

hey its trey

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Trey C. said...

hey

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

P*A*I*G*E said...

Body Paragraph 2

(cm)It was a game of chicken.(cd)Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cd) We dove into the blackness. (cm)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (cd)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (cm)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cd) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cm) I did not want to run out of air. (cd)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Bryn said...

Bryn Peters Per.1

Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now(CD). It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. I never missed them more than I did now(CM). Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time(CM). I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light(CD). I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more(CM). I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could(CD). My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them(CM). Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side(CD). I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’(CM) I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. I lost sense of space and time(CD). Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.(CM)

kyle conen said...

Kyle conen
per.1
2/3/09
bears

Body Paragraph 4:
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (CD) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side. (CD) I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs.(CD) I opened my eyes. (CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (CM) the sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (CD) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other. (CD)

Sarah 253 said...

Sarah Arends
2-4-09
Per. 1
Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (CD) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (CM) that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (CD) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other. (CM)

[:SaMmI T.:] said...

student example: Sam Tasi

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (Cd) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cm) that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cd) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs.(cm) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(cm)

Trey C. said...

hey its trey

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Trey C. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trey C. said...

hey its trey

(cd)Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (cm)I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (cd)that I had made it to the other side. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (cm)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs. (cd)The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (cm)I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Smiley- Aili said...

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (TS) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (CM) that I had made it to the other side. (CD) I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. (CD) My friends yelling and running over the logs. (CM) I opened my eyes. (CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones. (CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (CD) Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.(CM) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other. (CS)

Jackie H. said...

Jackie H. Period 2


Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs(TS). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles(CM) that I had made it to the other side(CD). I could hear sounds from the other side of the river(CD). My friends yelling and running over the logs(CM). I opened my eyes(CM). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones(CM). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up(CM). Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive(CD). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other(CM).

hothead said...

(TS) Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.(CD) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side.(CM) I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. (CM)My friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. (CD)I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones.(CD) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up.(CM) Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.(CM) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

nonahjonah said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be…how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (TS) We dove into the blackness. (CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. (CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CM) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CM)

Amanda! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JaymeNicole said...

It was a game of chicken. (CD) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CM) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CD) The river water was warm, like oil. (CM)I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air. (CM)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Adam said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (TS). We dove into the blackness (CM). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CD). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CD). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CM).

stephen said...

stephen

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (TS) We dove into the blackness. (CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. (CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CM)

JaymeNicole said...

It was a game of chicken. (CD) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CM) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CD) The river water was warm, like oil. (CM)I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air. (CM)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Amanda! said...

Amanda M period 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(CD) We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away(CD) – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM)The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CM)

Amanda! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joshua Edward said...

Josh
PER. 2
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (TS). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (CM) that I had made it to the other side.(CD)I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. My friends yelling and running over the logs.I opened my eyes.(CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones.(CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.(CD) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(CM)

Brenon Thompson said...

Body Paragraph 2
TS.It was a game of chicken.CD Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness.Cm. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. CD I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.
Brenon Thompson

Dane said...

Body Paragraph 4
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (TS). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles (CM) that I had made it to the other side (CD). I could hear sounds from the other side of the river (CD). My friends yelling and running over the logs (CD). I opened my eyes (CD). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones (CM). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up (CM). Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive (CD). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other (CM).

Adam said...

Adam Kane Period 2

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken (TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (TS). We dove into the blackness (CM). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CD). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CD). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CM).

Hannah said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken Five boys seeing how brave we could be.... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (TS) We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away(CM) – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil (CD). I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CD)

VaLeRiE said...

Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now.(TS) It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. (CD) I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. (CM) I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. (CM) I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. (CD) I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more. I was passing out. (CM) I closed my eyes. (CD) For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them.(CM) Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. (CM) I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. (CD) My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. I lost sense of space and time. (CM) Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it. (CM)

[Bryce :D] said...

BRYCE FROM, PER. 2nagr
Body Paragraph 2
(TS) It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. (CD)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD)Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CM)The river water was warm, like oil. (CD)I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CM)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. (CM)I did not want to run out of air. (CD)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

ryley breitzman said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken(ts). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(cd). We dove into the blackness(cm). The view under the logs took my breath away– breath I knew I could not afford to give up(cm). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(cd). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(cm)
. The river water was warm, like oil(cm). I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(cm). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(cm). I swam with my lips shut tight(cm). I did not want to run out of air(cm). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(cm)

ryley breitzman said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken(ts). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(cd). We dove into the blackness(cm). The view under the logs took my breath away– breath I knew I could not afford to give up(cm). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(cd). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(cm)
. The river water was warm, like oil(cm). I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(cm). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(cm). I swam with my lips shut tight(cm). I did not want to run out of air(cm). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(cm)

ryley breitzman said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken(ts). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(cd). We dove into the blackness(cm). The view under the logs took my breath away– breath I knew I could not afford to give up(cm). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(cd). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(cm)
. The river water was warm, like oil(cm). I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(cd). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(cm). I swam with my lips shut tight(cm). I did not want to run out of air(cd). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(cm)

♥Deanna♥ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nikowns23 said...

We walked a half mile from my parents’ house to the river TS. Along the way, I wondered what the river would like CD. Would it be as black as the night sky over our heads? We stood on the shore – five thirteen year olds at midnight CM. We got down to nothing but our swim trunks CM. We looked out CD. Anxiety knotted up my stomach CM. This stretch of the Spokane River’s surface was covered completely with large bundled logs CM. Under starlight, I saw that the logs were skinned. On the water, they looked like large white bones.

Traci said...

Traci Period 2
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness. (CD)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (Cm) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (Cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CM)The river water was warm, like oil.(Cm) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(Cd) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(Cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(Cm) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

DSHEP12 said...

It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (TS) We dove into the blackness. (CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. (Cm) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CM) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CM)

Dylan!

♥Deanna♥ said...

Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now (CD). It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. I never missed them more than I did now (CD). Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time (CM). I swam forward, along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light (CD). I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’(CM) The water darkened even more. I was passing out. I closed my eyes (CD). For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side (CD). I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it (CD).

Ian said...

Ian Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right.(ts) Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now.(CD) It was not for pain that I was scared now.(CM) It was because I was alone in the black.(CD) I never missed them more than I did now(CD). Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back?(CM) I had to make a decision in the darkness.(CD) Swim on or turn back.(CM) I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time.(CM) I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could.(CD) My muscles tightened up.(CD) I suddenly felt light.(CM) I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’(CM) The water darkened even more.(CM) I was passing out.(CD) I closed my eyes.(CD) For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could.(CM) My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them.(CD) Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse.(CD) They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side.(CM) I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die.(CD) Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up.(CD) My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side.(CM) I lost sense of space and time.(CD) Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log.(CD) I thought, that’s it.(CM)

DSHEP12 said...

Hey Mr. Mauel its Dylan on my new blog! i need you to check my Best Times Essay out.

zach mcintosh said...

looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them nowTS. It was not for pain that I was scared nowCd It was because I was alone in the blackCM. I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back?CD I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more. I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.

the scooter kid! said...

Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now (ts). It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back(cd)? I had to make a decision in the
darkness. Swim on or turn back.(cm) I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more(cm). I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them(cm). Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die(cm). Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side(cd). I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.

Grant said...

Body Paragraph 2
ts-It was a game of chicken. Cd-Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. Cm-The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Cm-Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Cm-Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. Cm-The river water was warm, like oil. Cd-I intentionally swam to the bottom. Cm-I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. Cm-I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. Cm-I swam with my lips shut tight. Cm-I did not want to run out of air. Cm-Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.
grant

Mike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brianna said...

Brianna Hooks

Period 3


Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Joseph Myers said...

Joseph Myers

It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD)- Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Emily R. said...

Emily R. Per.3

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be(CM)... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Brant said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be(CM)... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away(CM) – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster…(CM) help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Megan said...

Megan Smith
Period 3

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS)Five boys seeing how brave we could be...(CM) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away (CM)– breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CM) I did not want to run out of air.(CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

kevin johnson said...

(ts)It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (cd)We dove into the blackness. (cm)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (cm)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cm) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (cm)The river water was warm, like oil. (cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(cm) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cd) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cd) I did not want to run out of air. (cm) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jake said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken(ts). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(cm). We dove into the blackness(cm). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(cm). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(cd). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(cm). The river water was warm, like oil(cm). I intentionally swam to the bottom(cd). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(cm). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(cm). I swam with my lips shut tight(cm). I did not want to run out of air(cm). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(cd).

Austin said...

AUSTIN PORTE
Period 3

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be...(CM) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CM) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Sierra E. said...

Sierra per.3

Body Paragraph 2
(TS): It was a game of chicken. (CM): Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CD): We dove into the blackness. (CM): The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CD): Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CM): Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CD): The river water was warm, like oil. (CM): I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CM): I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM)I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CD): I swam with my lips shut tight. (CM): I did not want to run out of air. (CD): Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Tim said...

Tim Whitehead per. 1
(TS) It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CD) We dove into the blackness. (CM) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CD) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CM) The river water was warm, like oil. (CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CM) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CD) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Sierra E. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kathy said...

Kathy Moore
Period 3rd


Body Paragraph 2
it was a game of chicken (TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be (CM))... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (CD). We dove into the blackness (CD). The view under the logs took my breath away (CM) – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, and the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil. (CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster (CM)… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

ashley said...

Ashley
Period 3

Body Paragraph 2-
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. -(TS) We dove into the blackness. -(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. -(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. –(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. -(CD) The river water was warm, like oil. –(CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom. –(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. –(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. –(CD) I did not want to run out of air. –(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. -(CD)

NICK said...

Scott Sarey

Period 3


Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, and the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

NICK said...

Scott Sarey

Period 3


Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, and the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

HeCtOr said...

Hector from Period3



Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(ts) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cd) We dove into the blackness.(cm) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(cm) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cm) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(cm) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cd) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight.(cm) I did not want to run out of air.(cd) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Jake said...

Jake Sadler
Period 3
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (TS) We dove into the blackness. (CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. (CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CM)

juan gonzalez said...

Body Paragraph 2
it was a game of chicken.(CD) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CM) We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM2) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water,(CD) the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CM2) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CD2) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CM2)

Mike said...

Michael Pennacchi

Period 3

Body Paragraph 2

(cm)It was a game of chicken.(cd)Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cd) We dove into the blackness. (cm)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (cd)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (cm)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cd) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cm) I did not want to run out of air. (cd)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

AMANDAT. said...

Amanda Thormahlen

Body Paragraph 2

(cm)It was a game of chicken.(cd)Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cd) We dove into the blackness. (cm)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (cd)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (cm)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cd) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cm) I did not want to run out of air. (cd)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

kelsey said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(CD) Five boys seeing how brave we could be...(CM) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CM) We dove into the blackness.(CM) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CD)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CD) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster…(CD) help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CM)

Brianna said...

Brianna hooks
period 3


Body Paragraph 2

(cm)It was a game of chicken.(cd)Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cd) We dove into the blackness. (cm)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (cd)Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (cm)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cd) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cm) I did not want to run out of air. (cd)Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Torri said...

Body Paragraph 3
(TS): I looked to my left and right. (CD): Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now. (CM): It was not for pain that I was scared now. (CD): It was because I was alone in the black. (CM): I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? (CD): I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. (CM): I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. (CD): I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. (CM): I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more. (CD): I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. (CM): I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. (CD): I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.

Kylie said...

Kylie per.3

Body Paragraph 2
(TS): It was a game of chicken.(CD): Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD): We dove into the blackness.(CM): The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CD): Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CM): Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CD): The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CM):I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM): I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CD): I swam with my lips shut tight. (CD): I did not want to run out of air. (CD): Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

jake said...

hey mr.mauel i posted my second territories essay,you should go check it out

Lil' T said...

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.T.S I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side.C.D. I could hear sounds from the other side of the river.C.D. My friends yelling and running over the logs.C.D. I opened my eyes.C.D. I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones.C.M. The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.C.D. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other. C.M.

Andie said...

Andie-Period 4:

Body paragraph 1: (TS, CD, CM, CM2, CD2, CM, CM2)
We walked a half mile from my parents’ house to the river.(TS) Along the way, I wondered what the river would like.(CM) Would it be as black as the night sky over our heads? We stood on the shore – five thirteen year olds at midnight.(CD) We got down to nothing but our swim trunks.(CD) We looked out. Anxiety knotted up my stomach. (CD)This stretch of the Spokane River’s surface was covered completely with large bundled logs.(CD) Under starlight, I saw that the logs were skinned. (CD)On the water, they looked like large white bones.(CM)

Frenchie:) said...

Alicia French Per.4
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster(CM)… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Sara! :) said...

Sara Young Period 4

We walked a half mile from my parents’ house to the river (TS) Along the way, I wondered what the river would like. (CM) Would it be as black as the night sky over our heads?(CM) We stood on the shore – five thirteen year olds at midnight.(CD) We got down to nothing but our swim trunks.(CD) We looked out. Anxiety knotted up my stomach.(CM) This stretch of the Spokane River’s surface was covered completely with large bundled logs.(CD) Under starlight, I saw that the logs were skinned.(CD) On the water, they looked like large white bones.(CM)

BrentY said...

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (TS). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(CM). I could hear sounds from the other side of the river(CD). My friends yelling and running over the logs (CD). I opened my eyes (CD). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones (CM). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up (CM). Starlit images and sounds (CM)… Knees knocking on hard wood (CM)... I was alive (CD). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other (CM).

~Sassy_Cassie~ said...

Cassandra Houghton p.4

Paragraph 4
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.(TS) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side.(CD) I could hear sounds from the other side of the river.(CD) My friends yelling and running over the logs.(CD) I opened my eyes.(CD) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones.(CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up.(CD) Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.(CD) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(CM)

Mr. Bond said...

Jacob B. per. 4
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(ts) Five boys seeing how brave we could be.(CM).. how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CM) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away (CD)– breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water,(CD) the fish that now looked strangely metallic,(CM) the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CD) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster…(CD) help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CM) I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CM)

hip-hop dancer K.S. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bailey:) said...

It was a game of chicken.(Ts)) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(cd). We dove into the blackness.(cm) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(cm). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(cm). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil(cm). I intentionally swam to the bottom(cd). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cd) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cd) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cd) I did not want to run out of air(cd). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(cd)

hip-hop dancer K.S. said...

Khendra S.per. 4 Body Paragraph 2

It was a game of chicken. (ts) Five boys seeing how brave we could be..(cm). how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cd) We dove into the blackness.(cd) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(cm) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(cm) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cm) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cd) I did not want to run out of air.(cm) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(cm)

colinater13 said...

Collin Fewkes-Per 1
Body Paragraph 3
(TS)I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now(CD). It was not for pain that I was scared now(CM). It was because I was alone in the black(CD). I never missed them more than I did now(CM). Had I swum too far(CM)? Did I have enough air to swim back(CD)? I had to make a decision in the darkness(CD). Swim on or turn back(CD). I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time(CM). I swam forward(CD). Along the river’s bottom as far as I could(CD). My muscles tightened up(CD). I suddenly felt light(CD). I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die(CD)?’ The water darkened even more(CM). I was passing out(CD). I closed my eyes(CD). For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could(CD). My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them(CD). Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse(CD). They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side(CM). I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die(CD). Not like this(CD).’ I forced my body to float up(CD). My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side(CM). I lost sense of space and time(CD). Blacking out… Thunk(CD). The back of my head hit a log(CD). I thought, that’s it(CD).

Romelmeximan24 said...

We walked a half mile from my parents’ house to the river(TS). Along the way, I wondered what the river would like(CM. Would it be as black as the night sky over our heads?(CM2) We stood on the shore – five thirteen year olds at midnight.(CD) We got down to nothing but our swim trunks.(CD) We looked out.(CD)Anxiety knotted up my stomach.(CM) This stretch of the Spokane River’s surface was covered completely with large bundled logs.(CD) Under starlight, I saw that the logs were skinned.(CD) On the water, they looked like large white bones.(CM)

Romel Soltero

Mitch said...

Mitch H per 4,Body Paragraph 2
(T.S)It was a game of chicken. (C.D)Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(C.M) We dove into the blackness. (C.D)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(C.M) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(C.D) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(C.M) The river water was warm, like oil.(C.D) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(C.M) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(C.D) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(C.M) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air.(C.D) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

S3@N M@H@R said...

Sean Mahar
Body Paragraph 2

It was a game of chicken. (TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CM) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CM) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CM) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CD) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Morgan said...

Morgan Thomasson period 4

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs(cm). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(cd). I could hear sounds from the other side of the river (cm). My friends yelling and running over the logs(cd). I opened my eyes(cd). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones(cd). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up(cm). Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive(cd). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other(cm).

Chris said...

Body Paragraph 3 Chris C of Da 4th Period
I looked to my left and right (TS). Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now (CD). It was not for pain that I was scared now (CM). It was because I was alone in the black (CD). I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far (CM)? Did I have enough air to swim back (CM)? I had to make a decision in the darkness (CD). Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time (CM). I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up (CD). I suddenly felt light (CM). I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die (CM)?’ The water darkened even more (CD). I was passing out (CD). I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could (CD). My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them (CD). Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse (CM). They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side (CM). I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this (CM).’ I forced my body to float up (CD). My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side (CM). I lost sense of space and time (CD). Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log (CD). I thought, that’s it (CM).

Funkmaster said...

Body Paragraph 2 Damon F 4th period
it was a game of chicken (TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (cm). We dove into the blackness (CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, and the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CM). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(CD).

Tony16 said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom. I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air. Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Body Paragraph 3
I looked to my left and right. Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now. It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black. I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more. I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side. I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. My friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones. The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

amanda said...

It was a game of chicken. (TS)Five boys seeing how brave we could be.(CM).. how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster(CM)… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CD). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air.(CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

Maddy said...

Maddy 4th period
It was a game of chicken. (TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be(CM)... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(CD). We dove into the blackness(CM). The view under the logs took my breath away(CM) – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(CD). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil(CD). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CM). I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air(CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my

armbiter said...

Ryan Bowden
Period 4
[TS]I looked to my left and right. [CM]Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now. [CM]It was not for pain that I was scared now. [CM]It was because I was alone in the black. [CM]I never missed them more than I did now. [CD]Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness. [CM]Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. [CD]I swam forward. Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. [CD]My muscles tightened up. [CM]I suddenly felt light. [CM]I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more. [CD]I was passing out. [CD]I closed my eyes. [CD]For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. [CD]My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse. [CM]They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. [CM]I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ [CD]I forced my body to float up. [CM]My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side. [CD]I lost sense of space and time. [CD]Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it.

Tony16 said...

Body Paragraph 2
(Ts)It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cm) We dove into the blackness.(cd) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(cm) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cd) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (cm)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight.(cm) I did not want to run out of air.(cD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

tanner hough said...

much our group of friends meant to each other. Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs (ts). I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(cm). I could hear sounds from the other side of the river(cd). My friends yelling and running over the logs(cd). I opened my eyes(cd). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones(cm). The sounds of their falling down and getting back up(cm). Starlit images and sounds(cm)… Knees knocking on hard wood(cm)... I was alive(cd). I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how(cm)

Paul Mauel said...

dsfsadfdsaffds

NatureLuver said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. (TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.
(CM) We dove into the blackness. (CD) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CM) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CD) The river water was warm, like oil. (CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CD)I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CM) I swam with my lips shut tight. (CD)I did not want to run out of air. (CD) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CD)

Andrea! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eamsey said...

Alex Eames
Period 5
2-4-09

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken.(cd) Five boys seeing how brave we could be...(cm) how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(cm) We dove into the blackness.(cm) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(cm) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(cd) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(cm) The river water was warm, like oil.(cm) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(cd) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(cm) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster…(cm) help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(cm) I swam with my lips shut tight.(cd) I did not want to run out of air.(cm) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(cm)

Andrea! said...

Andrea (favorite/best) from Period 5 !

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (TS) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side. (CD) I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. My friends yelling and running over the logs. I opened my eyes. I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones. (CM) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive. (CM) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other. (CD)

Reed said...

It was a game of chicken (TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (CD). We dove into the blackness (CM). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable (CM). The river water was warm, like oil (CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CM). I swam with my lips shut tight (CD). I did not want to run out of air (CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CM).

Soccer kid trey 24 said...

Trey Nakanishi P.5
Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. (TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.(CD) We dove into the blackness.(CM) The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CM) I swam with my lips shut tight.(CD) I did not want to run out of air. (CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CM)

Bridgette! said...

Bridgette from period 5!


(TS )Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (CD) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side. (CM)I could hear sounds from the other side of the river.(CM) My friends yelling and running over the logs. (CD) I opened my eyes. I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones. The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (CM) Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive. (CM) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

Merritt said...

Merritt Kropelnicki
Period 4
2-4-09
Oh My!

Body Paragraph 4 (Do I have to have four paragraphs? No. But I needed one to complete my thoughts).
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.[TS] I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side.[CD] I could hear sounds from the other side of the river[CD]. My friends yelling and running over the logs.[CD] I opened my eyes.[CD] I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones.[CM] The sounds of their falling down and getting back up.[CM] Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.[CM] I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.[CM]

Makaila said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. (TS) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CD) We dove into the blackness. The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CM) The river water was warm, like oil. (CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CD) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. (CM) I swam with my lips shut tight. (CD) I did not want to run out of air. (CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head. (CM)

N8 said...

Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs.(TS)
realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side(CD). I could hear sounds from the other side of the river(cm). My friends yelling and running over the logs(cm). I opened my eyes(CD). I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones.(cm) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up(cm). Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive.(CD) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.(CM)
Nathan voyer

Mikey said...

It was a game of chicken (TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CD). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom(CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air(CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(CM).

Lucystrawberry(Mallorie) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lucystrawberry(Mallorie) said...

It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(TS). We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(CD). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom(CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air(CD). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(CS).

Rusting away in Washington said...

Emily rust, Per 5

I looked to my left and right(TS). Where I had seen my best friends before, I could not see them now. It was not for pain that I was scared now. It was because I was alone in the black(CD). I never missed them more than I did now. Had I swum too far? Did I have enough air to swim back? I had to make a decision in the darkness(CM). Swim on or turn back. I did not need my throbbing lungs to inform me that I did not have time. I swam forward(CD). Along the river’s bottom as far as I could. My muscles tightened up. I suddenly felt light. I honestly wondered, ‘Is this where I am going to die?’ The water darkened even more(CM). I was passing out. I closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I kicked my legs as hard as I could. My arms were locked straight in front of my face but I could not see them. Suddenly, I felt my arms collapse(CD). They were now flailing uselessly in front of my head and now my side. I told myself, ‘I don’t want to die. Not like this.’ I forced my body to float up. My eyes shut, my arms hanging like broken branches by my side(CM). I lost sense of space and time. Blacking out… Thunk. The back of my head hit a log. I thought, that’s it(CD).

georgekid said...

John:
Body Paragraph 2
(TS) It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CD)We dove into the blackness. (CM)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.(CD) Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.(CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CM) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CD ) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled. I swam with my lips shut tight.(CM)I did not want to run out of air. (CS) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

steven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Surg said...

Sergio the Urgio from Per. Five

(TS) Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs. (CD) I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles that I had made it to the other side. (CM) I could hear sounds from the other side of the river. (CM) My friends yelling and running over the logs. (CD) I opened my eyes. (CM) I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white bones. (CM) (CD) The sounds of their falling down and getting back up. (CM) Starlit images and sounds… Knees knocking on hard wood... I was alive. (CM) I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other.

the blogger ninja said...

Ryan Taylor
2/4/09 per. 1
It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(TS). We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CD). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom(CM). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(CD). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air(CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(conclusion?).

steven said...

steven from per.5

It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back (TS). We dove into the blackness (CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up (CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs (CM). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable (CD). The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom (CM). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface (CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled (CD). I swam with my lips shut tight (CM). I did not want to run out of air (CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head (CONCLUSION).

steven said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Forever&&Always... said...

Taylor Graves.
Febuary 4.
Period 5.

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken (CD). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(CM). We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.(CM) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CD). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom (CD). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air(CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.(CD)

samy! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
(Justin) said...

We walked a half mile from my parents’ house to the river(ts). Along the way, I wondered what the river would like.(cm) Would it be as black as the night sky over our heads? We stood on the shore – five thirteen year olds at midnight(cd). We got down to nothing but our swim trunks. We looked out.(cd2) Anxiety knotted up my stomach. This stretch of the Spokane River’s surface was covered completely with large bundled logs.(cm2) Under starlight, I saw that the logs were skinned. On the water, they looked like large white bones(cd)

samy! said...

Samy H.
Pd. 5
Suddenly, a painful shock hit my lungs [CD]. I realized after five or ten seconds of the needles [CM]. That I had made it to the other side [CD]. I could hear, from the other side of the river, my friends yelling and running over the logs [CD]. I opened my eyes [CD]. I will never forget the look of my best friends sprinting over slick white logs.[CD] The sounds of them falling down and getting back up [CD]. I wished I did not have to be this-close-to-drowning to remind me how much our group of friends meant to each other [CM].

Jakob ($_$) said...

Jacob B.
Per. 4
L.A

Intro: (Three Questions, Pivot Sentence, Thesis Statement)
did you ever have contests with your friends? Or play darts? Or even climb up a tree? Well this piece is about my
friend’s birthday party and how you can look back and think I really did that?

Body Paragraph 1 (ts, cd, cm, cm2, cd2, cm, cm2)
First at my friends birthday party we climbed his tree in his front yard. The game was who could get to the top first. This proved to be actually very difficult. This is because each of us would kick and drag anything to get one another down. Once we got to the top we found a place on a branch for each of us. This was a struggle because every one wanted each others setting spot. One spot was like a chair.

Body Paragraph 2 (ts, cd, cm, cm2, cd2, cm, cm2)
Then we went inside and started playing video games. The game we played was Super Smash Bros. Brawl. The games idea was to have people hit other people out of the arena. This was cool because when you were hit out of the arena it would make this whoosh sound. Then I nudged my friend and said “ha-ha.” He then put me in a head lock and then my other friend tackled him. Then the whole room turned into a wrestling arena.

Body Paragraph 3 (ts, cd, cm, cm2, cd2, cm, cm2)
After that we woke up at 2 in the mourning and went into his back yard where he had Chinese fire crackers. The Chinese fire crackers were as big that regular ones but they didn’t even need to be lit you could throw them on the ground and they would explode. Then next thing we knew we were throwing the fire crackers at each others feet. The fire crackers at our feet were dancing specs of light with a boom. Then we went into his front yard. He had had darts in his front yard. The darts were sharp enough to sink into wood.

Conclusion: (Thesis Restated, Topic Sentence Summarized, Memorable Statement)
As you look back you think of all the stupid things you have done. For me that was when we tryed to kick people off of a tree. There for you are going to do stupid things but you must learn from your mistakes.


Snow boarding


Intro: (Three Questions, Pivot Sentence, Thesis Statement)
Did you ever fall in the snow? Or snow board at Snoqualmie? Even go on a ski lift? Well this is a story about what I like to do. When my dad told me to go off a jump I never expected it to be so big. Some times you never want to do the same things other people are doing.

Body Paragraph 1 (ts, cd, cm, cm2, cd2, cm, cm2)
We went to Snoqualmie to snow board. As we drove I thought about the runs we were going to do, and how good the snow was going to be. Would it be as good as it was last time? We were at the top of the mountain and nobody else was there. We put on our gloves and skidded of into the darkness. A head had begun its creep. The mountain was full of jumps big to small. I could see that some of them were spray painted blue and red. They looked like blue and red cotton candy.

Body Paragraph 2 (ts, cd, cm, cm2, cd2, cm, cm2)
We each saw how high each of us could jump. We each stopped after one another to wait for the other. As my dad went off of a jump it was a spectacle worth seeing. He looked like a pro as he came down back to earth. Now it was my turn to do that jump. I took off gathering as much speed as I could. It looked like I was a ghost because my jacket was covered with ice and my jacket flapped in the wind.

Body Paragraph 3 (ts, cd, cm, cm2, cd2, cm, cm2)
I looked around to see who was watching. I could see them, and then I fell as I went off the jump. I went up in the air and lost my balance then my snow board hit the back of my head as my knees flew up. It was like I did a belly flop off of that jump. My chest hit the snow, hard. As it did all air from my lungs went out like a fire extinguisher. It was some thing comical it looked like I was trying to do a back flip, but I was turning forward.

Conclusion: (Thesis Restated, Topic Sentence Summarized, Memorable Statement)

So in the end you always have to think of what you are capable of. For me that was when I got a concussion off of a snow board jump. As I think about it now I am glad it was just a concussion because I could have broken a rib.

Emily! said...

Body Paragraph 2
it was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.-TS We dove into the blackness.-CD The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.-CM Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.-CM Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, and the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.-CD The river water was warm, like oil. I intentionally swam to the bottom.-CM I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.-CM I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.-CD I swam with my lips shut tight.-CM I did not want to run out of air. –CM Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.-CM

Kalai93 said...

Kalai.R
per.5
Body Paragraph 2It was a game of chicken(TS). Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back(CD). We dove into the blackness(CD). The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up(CM). Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs(CD). Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable(CM). The river water was warm, like oil(CM). I intentionally swam to the bottom(CM). I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface(CM). I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled(CM). I swam with my lips shut tight(CD). I did not want to run out of air(CM). Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head(CD).

Baker said...

Body Paragraph 2
It was a game of chicken. CD Five boys seeing how brave we could be...CD how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back.CD We dove into the blackness.CD The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up.CD Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs.CD Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable.CD The river water was warm, like oil.CD I intentionally swam to the bottom.CD I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.CM I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster…CM help me calibrate how far I had traveled.CD I swam with my lips shut tight.CD I did not want to run out of air.CM Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.CD

RYAN B

Christina said...

Christina S.
Body Paragraph 2
(TS): It was a game of chicken. Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CD): We dove into the blackness. (CM): The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CM): Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CM): The river water was warm, like oil. (CD): I intentionally swam to the bottom. (CM): I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface. (CM): I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CD): I swam with my lips shut tight. (CM): I did not want to run out of air. (CM): Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

Renee said...

Body Paragraph 2
(TS) It was a game of chicken.(CM) Five boys seeing how brave we could be... how far we could swim under water before turning and swimming back. (CM)We dove into the blackness. (CM)The view under the logs took my breath away – breath I knew I could not afford to give up. (CD) Louvers of silver light slanted down between the logs. (CD)Illuminated in sections the dark water, the fish that now looked strangely metallic, the sand at the bottom that now sparkled like something suddenly very valuable. (CM) The river water was warm, like oil.(CD) I intentionally swam to the bottom.(CM) I liked feeling how cool the river bottom was compared to the surface.(CM) I thought the feeling of sand along my stomach would make the seconds go by faster… help me calibrate how far I had traveled.(CD) I swam with my lips shut tight. I did not want to run out of air.(CM) Slanting sheets of light told me the logs were still bundled tight fifteen to twenty feet above my head.

girly-girl said...

Shauna McBride
Body paragraph number 2
(TS)As you enter the ride you feel the water underneath moving and hitting the side of the cart, the temptations of just getting out and running increase and then it happens.
(CD)The ride starts up and the noises begin the sound of the cart hitting the tracks at the bottom are the most uncomforting noise that you want to hear during a ride.
(CM)The clunking is going through your mind like the sound of bolts coming loose or the sound of the cart falling of the tracks.
The hear of the music relaxes you and makes the butterflies go away plus there’s nothing you can do to stop the ride now.
(CM)The water is the so relaxing as it hits the boat that all you want to do, then all the sudden the light.
(CD)The light is the sign of the drop off, and then you see 30-50 people waving just before you drop.
The feeling is so hard to grasp the feeling like you will never ending to the drop off.
(CM)The drop is like landing of a plane so scared and hope that it will end soon and you will be back on the ground again.
(CM)Then the camera takes a picture and there is a bright picture like a lightening bolt dropping from the sky.
(CD)As the bottom approaches the mist of the water comes over you and all you want to do is re-do the ride again and again.
(CM)The tunnel adds a little bit of scary affects like there might be another drop off or something.
Then the turn comes and the water calms down.
(CD)The thought that they might have another drop off is still in my mind.
(CS)The hope that there isn’t another drop off is what your thinking.
The ride finally comes to a stop and we start to exit the cart.